Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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