My friends, they love my intelligence
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
