I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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