Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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