She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
