So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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