It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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