Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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