I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i came on her dog
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
