I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
