New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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