My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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