And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
