..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
