oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize