I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Too much gin, very little bucket
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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