Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
