At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
