She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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