Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
