FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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