a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
thus making me awesome and them whores
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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