And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
