Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
