similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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