Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
A bitchslap is in order.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
