YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
