I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
