are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
