There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
