The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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