Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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