paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
