I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
