I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize