i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
