So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
