The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
