the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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