You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
