I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
wow bdsm is so cute
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
