I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
