What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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