Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
