How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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