Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
