I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
