WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
