Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
