Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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