I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
