can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
