hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
