Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
