3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
