just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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