We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
