either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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