it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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