I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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