I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
