I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
