Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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