So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It's official drugs can't kill me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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