I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
