Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
